She smelled of sex, and of everything I ever wanted in a woman. Too bad I wasn't remotely close to what she wanted in a man. While I understood that my short frame carried its four hundred and fifty pounds in a screaming joke of masculinity, I somehow hoped that she would find what I could offer enough. I held a steady 3.75 Grade Point Average all though college, and could have easily pushed myself to a four. Hell, I even entertained the idea of entering the Masters program and staying on for. My only sex experience was with the two girls at school that everyone had done. Very awkward. There was a freshman on the swim team that worshiped me and he lived down the street.One Saturday evening we were celebrating after a swim meet. His parents were gone and we were drinking their stuff. We decided to take a shower and head to bed. I was waiting forever for him to finish his shower. I stripped down to my briefs and waited in the bathroom. He stepped and instantly looked at my crouch. I. "I guess that's one way to look at it. Of course I did lose my car, but I owed more on it than it was worth and it did have a flat tire the last time I saw it. Even though I like the boots I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have made the trade if I'd had a choice." Believe me, I know what you're talking about," I said.That was pretty much the end of the conversation for a while. Janet took her new boots and headed back into the house. I fed the stock and then put Elsie in the milking stall to do my. ALL DOWN YO BACK UP YO CRACK. YOU TALKIN TO A REAL PLAYA NOW GURL. REAL. I DON’T GO FIRST.” Dick soon realised the alien spoke not only completely in caps, but largely only in Too $hort lyrics. Suddenly it all made sense – Too $hort had to be an alien. Only someone who had observed earth culture from the outside, but never lived it, could have composed songs and rhymes so terrible and yet still thought they had any merit whatsoever. The alien was Too $hort.He might've been called Too $hort, but.
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