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. I told her I didn't want her to remember me like that..."Mom spoke up, "You had told all of your friends that honey..."I said, "I know... That's because they all had the same look mom..."Both Dr. Byrnes and my mom had the same confused expression as they weretrying to understand. Dr. Byrnes was the first to ask, "What lookJordan?"I tried not to remember all the different faces that stared at me thoselast few weeks at the hospital before I couldn't take it anymore, but Icouldn't. The memories. Fighting my every instinct I go limp, submitting to my captor.Seconds tick by with no release from my assailant. Alarm rises in me as the need to breath becomes desperate. I repress the urge to buck and fight, it wouldn't do me much good. I have to hope the man is not here just to kill me.Suddenly the grip on my hair is released. I pull my head up, flaring my nostrils to suck in air. My relief is short-lived. He lifts my right arm, closing cold metal around the wrist, it clicks into place. Both. In short, I am being retired as an actress, and not by choice.“Then this screenplay came up. It was actually on someone’s desk when I visited, and I took the chance to read through it. Later when it became apparent that I wasn’t going to work again, I decided that if I was going to go out, I wanted to go out on my terms. It was not much of a choice after that.“Hollywood and especially the ratings people in this country have it all wrong. Sociologists have determined that if you make violence in. Id been sitting, waiting for 10 minutes already and I was nervous. I pulled at the hem of the dress Id worn, wondering again why Id worn something so short and tight when I wasnt planning on going home with you. Id promised myself that. The barman had given me a funny look when Id gone up and ordered a drink. Sort of a leer with a wink. I noticed that he kept on looking over, probably wondering why I was drinking by myself. I felt self-conscious and pulled the little bolero jacket over my.
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