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And yet I survived … I kept returning to this barbaric world that had once, so long ago, called to me. I wore other collars and I served other men but something within me was dead. I had well hidden a torn and bleeding heart beyond a tall wall of thorns and dared anyone to try to even come close. I became almost untouchable, throwing myself in my studies, determined to become the best, the most desired yet the most elusive. Maybe I achieved that … maybe I didn’t. But I was well on my way. . About ten minutes later he walked into the kitchen in a pair of jeans and a polo. I was pouring his coffee wearing a pair of gym shorts and a white tank.“Now, that’s the best part of waking up,” he said.He pulled out a chair and sat at the table as I set his mug in front of him. The waffles already were on the table.As he started eating I leaned back against the counter facing him.“So, what do you want me to do today?” I asked.“You really don’t have to--”“I’m going to, anyway. What do you need. ’ Paul started to sigh and held back. He turned to the man behind the counter. ‘Let’s have one strip steak and enough chicken breast for one person.’ He told him. After the butcher handed them the two packages wrapped in white paper Marge turned to head for the cashier. ‘We need one last thing, Marge.’ Paul called out as he headed for the beer cooler. He stood in front of it, mentally tabulating how much he would need. ‘What’s your favorite brand?’ he asked. ‘I don’t know, Paul. I seldom. He couldn't concentrate, or hold a job. He tried to killhimself, twice, he said, but he failed even there. Worst of all, hecouldn't confide in anyone, or trust anyone. He had this terrible fearof betrayal, after what his fiancee had done to him. When I tried totouch him reassuringly after I got his phone number and gave him mine,he trembled so hard he couldn't get his coat on." I was still hopeful about my marriage. In fact it was going to lastanother seventeen years, though I didn't know.
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